It isn’t always easy for adult children and their aging parents. The dynamic changes, conversations are different, and you will need to make decisions together. Having a plan in place and starting conversations before they become necessary, will help both your parents and you, as they age.
Pay Attention
As your parent’s age, you will need to be in contact more often and have more pointed conversations with them. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Listen, really listen. If they are repeating themselves excessively or are letting you know that they can no longer handle their daily living tasks with ease, you may need to delve further into the situation.
Planning is key
Don’t wait for a crisis to hit before making a plan. Have conversations while your parent is able. Ask them what they want for themselves as they age. Do they want to stay in the family home, or are they open to downsizing? Are they open to the thought of in-home care, or will a loved one provide live-in care for them? Do they have long term care insurance in place, and do you understand how it works? These are just some of the things to consider as your parent ages and will need to be addressed with them and the professionals in that arena.
Legal Paperwork
Documents to ensure that you can assist your parent in an emergency are best to be put in place early. This way, their wants, and needs will be easier to communicate, and you will be able to ask any questions about their desires. It is best to consult a legal professional when drafting these documents. Some of the forms you would want to consider would be:
- Medical directive – is also known as a living will or an advanced directive. It will describe what kind of care your parent wants to receive if they become ill or incapacitated.
- A medical power of attorney – will allow you (or whomever they assign) to make healthcare decisions for your parent. You can pair this with a HIPAA release so that you can access health and physicians records.
- A financial power of attorney – gives you access to their finances, pay their bills, and act on their financial behalf.
- Revocable Living Trust – allows you to carry out your loved one’s wishes in transferring any property while maintaining control over the estate. Revocable is vital in this case, as it prevents their estate from entering probate at the time of their death.
- Will – this will outline whom your parent wants to receive their assets and personal property, helping to minimize disagreements amongst beneficiaries. If a person dies without a will, their final wishes may not be able to be carried out.
We’ve all heard the saying that hindsight is 20/20 but don’t get caught “wishing” you had known what to do. While we cannot predict the future, we can do our part to prepare for the future. Have conversations earlier versus later and make sure you know what your parent wants for their future. It will make transitions easier on everyone and allow you to know that you are honoring their wishes just as they would like.